Goal Setting: Planning Your Year

Okay, so we’ve talked about goals – and specifically why they’re more useful than resolutions for actually improving your life.  Hopefully by the 3rd week of January you’ve sat down at some point and thought about what you want your year to be like.  Oh, you haven’t?  Grab a pen and a piece of paper and try this:

Close your eyes and spend 3 – 5 minutes just thinking about who you want to be on Jan 24th, 2013.  Do you want to shave 5 minutes off your 5k time?  Do you want to be able to climb the stairs without huffing and puffing?  What about your job?  Everything that pops into your head write down.  What aren’t you happy with?  What makes you happy but you wish you had more of in your life?  Write it down!

Those things right there, those are the little idea nuggets that spark change.  Now think about your life as it is right now and use those ideas to set up some SMART goals (remember: Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, and Time-sensitive).

Next, make a plan.  Break each one of your new goals into smaller and smaller goals until they no longer feel impossible.  A good micro-goal is something you look at and think “okay, I can handle that”.

Good.  Now you’ve got some goals; some things you know you want to change.  But one of the biggest problems for people when setting SMART goals is the T: Time-sensitive.  They just can’t answer for themselves one big question: when!?!  When will you hit that goal by?  - and as they start trying to answer the question of when the excuses and “reasons” start popping up (reason is just code for excuse, right?).

“I can’t give up drinking this week, I have that work dinner.”

“I’ll start my diet tomorrow, mom’s making ravioli tonight.”

“I don’t have time to get my run in, I have too much to do.”

“I’ll work out tomorrow, I feel like I’m getting a cold.”

“Its only one day of eating cake.  Cake is okay just for one day” (yeah, one piece today… one tomorrow… one on Friday… one on…)

You know who you are!

But now you’ve got some goals on a sheet of paper…so get out your calendar too and pick some WHENs.  Admit to yourself that sometimes the whens are going to shift, but for now you need some targets.

My 2012

Yes, okay, I’m going to talk about myself for a minute.  While some of my goals are just that, mine (meaning private), I have quite a few I’m willing to put down “on paper”.  Here goes:

Sprint Distance Triathalon

It’s something I’ve wanted to do for a few years but always thought “I couldn’t”.  This Amazon has long-held the belief that I have a body that wasn’t built for cardio… I think it’s time I proved myself wrong.

The Hudson Crossing Triathlon in lovely Schylerville, NY will be my proving ground on July 10th.  Keep your heart-rate monitors close at hand, folks.  Could be a doozy.

Tough Mudder

If you’ve never heard of one of these insane races I strongly recommend you head over to http://toughmudder.com/.  The video causes me to have some… “reactions”:

Yeah.  That’s how I get my jollies.  I have a few friends who claim to be in for it, but we’ll see if they actually show up.

July 14th = pain and beer.

My First Fight

Yeah.  You read that right.  The head of my kung fu school and I decided on my birthday in 2011 that it was time for me to train for a fight… we’re shooting for Oct.

Planning the Year

So when 2012 hit I knew I wanted to do these three things; but the big question was when.  So I sat down and considered my current state of fitness and what I needed to achieve in order to reach each of these goals safely and effectively.  For the tri I need cardiovascular endurance; something that trains up quickly but is lost as easily.  For Tough Mudder I need friends, cardio, but also agility and strength.  For the fight I need short-burst anaerobic endurance, strength, and technical skill.

Given that I need time to build up my join strength through resistance training and enough time to work on my technical skills I’ve opted to do the fight last.  5 months is plenty of time to get myself ready for the tri (especially because I work at a gym with a pool), and the Mudder is just going to fall somewhere in between.

That’s how I planned my year.  Now it’s just time to get to work!

Humans and Hardware

Mantras and mottos are powerful things.  They push us through when we need a metaphysical shove and they give people and organizations focus and drive.  I learned a new one today and I’ve been thinking about it all afternoon.

Humans are more important than hardware.

It’s the motto of the US Green Berets training program; professional badasses who know what it’s like to work hard, think on their feet, and utilize creative problem-solving under immense stress.  It’s simple, catchy, and elegant: what matters on the scene isn’t what cool gadget you have, but that you sent the right man (or WOman) for the job.  This interpretation pushes you (or at least me) to be ready for whatever’s going to pop up, with or without tools.

There’s an alternate interpretation that comes to mind: that what matters isn’t your shit, it’s your people.  Screw whatever you might be carrying and keep your friends right at hand, they’re whose going to save your skinny butt in the end.

What other mantras really sink your battleship?  Hit the comments and share away.

Goal Setting: Make Goals, Not Resolutions

This should sound familiar: sometime between Dec 16th and Jan 5th(ish) you or someone you love, after reflecting back on the previous year, their life, their waist, or whatever else they’re musing about, will declare for all to hear “My New Years resolution is ____”.  According to usa.gov the most common resolutions are (this is a condensed list):

• Drink less
• Eat better
• Get a better: education, job, whatever
• Get fit/lose weight
• Quit smoking
• Save money

But lets fast forward on that same friend (or ourselves) 2 or 3 weeks.  They blew into the New Year, without a plan, proclaiming their new found willpower to the free world…and then fell on their face.  We’ve all done it.  I can remember as a teen having a list of half a dozen resolutions that were going to make me a better person magically at midnight.  I’d wiggle on them, then I’d wobble, then I’d ungracefully fall flat on my face in a catastrophic failure of all six at the same time.  Next year I’d come around to the same and, sure enough, do a rinse and repeat.

Sound familiar?  Why do we do that to ourselves?  Well, because the word “resolution”, when mumbled (or shouted) in the New Years sense, has been watered down.  It’s not concrete (with the exception of Quit Smoking – that’s cut and dry and you should do it).  The phrase “Eat Better” or “Save Money” isn’t specific and doesn’t have a timeline.  How will you know when you’ve achieved it?  And there’s no wiggle room for the natural progress that takes place while working toward a goal.

Here’s my personal development challenge to the world:

Make Goals, Not Resolution

And not just any goals: SMART goals.  What the hell does that mean?  Well, SMART is a mnemonic for goals that are Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, Time-Bound.  And again: what does that mean?

• Specific – What are you doing? (losing weight?  saving money?  here’s your resolution overlap, and where resolutions stop and fall short)
• Measurable – How much money?  How many pounds?  How many drinks a week are too many?
• Attainable – Can you do it?  You’re not going to lose 20 lbs in 2 weeks (at least most people wont).  But you could lose 20 lbs in 20 weeks if you work hard.  Set yourself up for success.
• Relevant – You have to care enough.  That’s straight up.
• Time-Bound – If you don’t give yourself a due date there’s no pressure to achieve.  When!?!

Another thing about goals: you work toward them.  Resolutions are black and white: either you do it or you fail.  A goal is something you strive to achieve.  You make a plan, and if there are setbacks you adjust the plan.  And goals can be broken down into smaller micro-goals.  [For example: You want to lose 20 lbs in 20 weeks; then you'd better be losing 1 lb a week.  Which means creating a 3,500 cal deficit every week (there are 3,500 calories of in a lb of fat).  That's a 500 calorie shortage per day micro goal.  Plus workouts, of course!]

Do yourself 2 favors: when reflecting back on yourself over the last year and looking at your current life give yourself a break.  You’re great, you’re beautiful.  The other: look forward to the year with it’s fullest potential and set yourself SMART goals to reach that potential.  Break those goals into half step goals.  Then half of each of those goals.  Break them down to the smallest micro goals as you need them to be to succeed.

Then, tell resolutions to bug off.

It Is 2012.

I am not a huge fan of the annual “end of the year” or “looking forward to the year” post, even in the best of years.  They’re awkward at best, uncomfortable at worst; either distilling the previous solar cycle into nuggets of perceived wisdom or breasing through lists of events but not considering their significance.  Rarely do I read one the really enthralls me.

But here I am, on another January 1st, having written very little since the fall and feeling the need to mark the passing of time in true blogger fashion.  My silence was not because the fall was uneventful; quite the contrary.  So much of significance happened I didn’t know where to begin.  I still don’t.  There are mornings where I feel that everything has changed; yet I still wake up in my body and my life still fits in the scope of this blog.  …So much has changed…

I am in transition. Not just from one year to another or one month to the next, but also from early adulthood to something more concrete. Middle age? Not quite yet, but perhaps “the mix is beginning to set” as it were. I’ve also transitioned my career.  Here’s the bomb: I haven’t been on an audition in almost 5 months…and I don’t really miss it.  After years of putting incredible pressure on myself (and also my self esteem, my wallet, my relationships, my hair) I opted to burp the theatrical tupperware by taking a break from acting.  The result of that break is the realization that maybe my lifelong dream is like some of my other lifelong dreams (like being a size 2 and having sex with Angelina Jolie) just that: a dream.  Some dreams are just not meant to live in the light of day.  They begin to pale, whither, and die in the reality of that light.

So what now?

After a few months of study I’ve just begun a job as a personal trainer.  I’m not sure yet, but the returns are looking good on my new occupation.  Health, wellness, and fitness seem to be the new key words in my vocabulary and I’m going to bed thinking about program design variables and the best way to consider client goals.   I’m excited; but admittedly a bit scared.  I expect in the coming months for this space to continue to be a chronicling of my adventures (mis-adventures?), but also to include my thoughts on health and fitness as they continue to evolve.  My goals are changing and I expect my writing to tug along behind that.

Nightcap

Why are we, the modern blogger, compelled to cap the year? We are already the voyers of out time, spewing our thoughts for all the western web to see (or ignore).  We feel the urge to connect via our posts and pictures; whether to push our professional thoughts or our personal events out, we spin paragraph after paragraph in the hopes that you, dear reader, give a damn.  Maybe the annual “end of year” spew is a way of looking back and saying “I did this, I hope you still care”.  Maybe it’s the mass delusion that we don’t really give a damn if anyone is reading or not.

Or may, and this is my secret hope, it’s the belief that if we look back on last year to check our trajectory we can somehow hedge our bets that maybe this year will be better than the last:

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There’s a post brewing in me to distill all the things I saw and felt and did last night as I helped Occupy the Brooklyn Bridge… for now, some pictures:

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My apologies for my shitty phone camera.  Sometimes you just have to work with what you have.

Just a quick reminder

There’s always some new badass thing to work on:

One of my favorite things about this reel is the gym shots.  It shows that he’s in the gym all the time working on his stunts and perfecting them.  I’m positive he works his ass off – get out there and work yours off too.

(doesn’t hurt that he’s ripped and easy on the eyes, either!)

Take a Hike

No, really… it’s good for you.  USA Today is reporting this morning that new research being presented at American Institute for Cancer Research (AICR) in Washington, D.C shows that “prolonged sitting” can increase your risk of cancer – and specifically colon and breast cancer.

While “prolonged sitting” is a stupid way to describe it the message is sound and the idea isn’t new.  Sedentary lifestyles don’t just make you fat and increase the risk of hypertension, heart attack, stroke, and Type 2 diabetes; but it can give you the dreaded C word!

As you know, I love boobies and want to save them… so TAKE A HIKE ALREADY!  (As little as a 30 minute walk a day can lower your risk, mmm’kay?)

Go Outside Already!

Getting a bit SuperBetter

The SuperBetter Story

It’s one of those strokes of genius that can only come out of something negative.  Jane McGonigal was (and still is) a game designer; but after a severe concussion caused by one of those random life incidents that take us by surprise she was sidelined – from her whole life.  She couldn’t work; she couldn’t write; she could barely walk around without feeling sick.  Understandably, she became depressed – and depression affects recovery, meaning if she didn’t get better she was going to be sicker longer and suffer more depression.

So she decided to get better… by making getting better a game!

To help her brain heal, she invented SuperBetter — and became its first player. Within a few weeks, she was feeling better and recovering faster than she’d ever thought possible.

After her successful recovery, Jane shared the rules of the game online and they spread like wildfire. She started receiving messages from people all over the world describing how they were using SuperBetter in their own lives-to help them lose weight, recover from a knee injury, get through chemotherapy, quit smoking, deal with auto-immune disease, survive heartbreak, overcome migraines, and even find a new job.

-SuperBetter.com/page/superbetter_story

So SuperBetter is a game mechanic structure that you fill out as you try to get better!  Brilliant!

Wanting to be SuperBetter

It’s no secret that I have periodically struggled with depression.  Big deal; so do most people, right?  What I haven’t mentioned too much: this year has been one of the hardest of my life (for any number of reasons that don’t belong here).  I’ve been struggling – and when SuperBetter was featured on NPR’s On The Media a few weeks ago I thought “Oh, that’s brilliant” and happened to mention it to the hubster.  The hubster immediately recognized the recovery potential and went on-line to sign me up for the beta.

When I didn’t hear right away I was a bit disappointed; but last week when I finally received my invite I was jazzed.  At the next possible moment I was logging in to start my first missions.

Goddess Powers

So how does it work?  Upon login you are asked to complete a series of Missions that set up your Secret Headquarters.  One of the first few missions is choosing your Secret Identity.  Some people go all out and have a theme for their entire game; others just go with a loose structure and are more direct (one brilliant forum poster who is overcoming addiction is playing as Eddie Dean from Dark Tower and his entire SuperBetter is themed)…I’m somewhere in between.

I am Artemis, goddess of the hunt and wilds.  She carries a mighty bow, is the daughter of Zeus, and is known for slaying those who cross her or boast greater hunting prowess.  She lives for the outdoors and is surrounded by like-minded women.  Your hero exhibits qualities you admire and want to embody while you look to defeat what’s before you.

Epic Win

You’re asked to choose something to overcome, for me it is depression (people are using this system for everything from serious injury recovery to aggressive weight loss), and a mission to define what you’re playing for…. an Epic Win.  It’s strongly suggested that your first epic win is something achieved in the first 6 weeks of play to keep it immediately attainable.  I’ve just begun a course to become a Certified Personal Trainer and I really want that to be my epic win; but it’s a 2 month course.  For now my Epic Win is to study every day for 30 days to bring me closer to that larger goal.  They also suggest your first goal be quantifiable so you can definitely say it was completed.

As you complete each of these missions you rack up “resilience points”.  They grow over time and never diminish because as your self-esteem builds you continue to build on the foundation you’ve already created.

Bad Guys & Power Ups

Next you define Bad Guys and Power Ups.  Bad guys are the things that tear you down and keep you from your goals; power ups are the boosts you need to keep going.  A few of mine are kinda personal; but to help you get the idea:

Bad Guys

• Brain Weasels – any obsessive thoughts, which are often accompanied by anxiety
• Siren’s songs – Songs that send me into a depressive mood.  While I love Adele’s latest album, it’s been banned.
• Poison – More than 1 alcoholic drink; refined sugar; refined flour.  Anything that makes me feel like ick.

Power Ups

• A power song
• Meditation
• Cook a good dinner
• Ridiculous YouTube video
• Writing (hey, I’m doing that right now!)

You can have as many or as few as you want to and make a note of when you combat each.

Quests & Allies

Now on to the true meat: quests and allies.  Who would Batman be without Robin?  Even the Dark Knight with all his psychological bullshit took on some help.  So shall I!

Currently I have 5 allies: Apollo (Artemis’ twin brother and god of the sky), Athena (Goddess of wisdom and war), Demeter (Goddess of the harvest), Leto (mother to Artemis & Apollo and mistress to Zeus – guess who that is in real life…), and Orpheus (legendary musician and prophet).  Each of my allies have a specific mission to help me stay on track.  They can also give me quests and bestow achievements.

Quests are just like they are in a video game – “go do this thing!”  Because my goal is to study every day for a month one of my daily quests is to study.  Because mess makes me feel more depressed one of my quests was to clean up my apartment… another was to remove all the Siren’s Songs from my mp3 player (recall that bad guy?).

What would any game be without the badges of achievement?  Both the game and my allies have the ability to bestow achievements.  This weekend I made Level 1 Scholar (given by Apollo) for attending my classes…. I’ve been informed that a Level 2 Scholar has gone to 4 total classes, so I’ll have to wait another week to level on that.

Where’s this all going?

Who knows!  I can think of endless applications for such a simple, elegant design.  The engine itself in incredibly flexible and they’ve created Power Packs to start off anyone with a standard goal.  For each action more resilience points are distributed and they estimate people feel a significant difference between 100 and 150 resilience points – though they also have questionares in a private area of the HQ for a hero to track their progress in a more statistically sound manner.  I felt a difference while setting it up just at having the point of focus.  I plan to blog my way through my first 2 epic wins; so I’ll be keeping you posted.

My favorite nerdy thing about all of this?  Each component is backed up with sound science – and you can access any of that information.  Why do resilience points work?  Click the atom icon next to your score and you’re informed that

Resilience increases your ability to achieve any goal and to become stronger in the face of any challenge.

Scientific studies have identified seven strategies for increasing personal resilience.

1. Set meaningful goals
2. Use your unique strengths
3. Avoid negative triggers
4. Spark positive emotion
5. Be realistically optimistic
6. Persevere by being open minded and flexible
7. Reach out to others

When we practice these strategies, we engage our social support networks, learn effective coping skills, increase our sense of mastery, and improve our overall well-being – all of which help us develop the skills and confidence necessary to successfully tackle challenges in the future.

Now you know.  And knowing is half the battle – or at least its the icing on your SuperBetter cake!

In It To End It

Moon over opening ceremonies

What’s just under 40 miles, draws thousands of participants, and raised $8.5 million this weekend?  The Avon Walk for Breast Cancer New York City.

This past weekend I had both the honor and the challenge of being a part of a movement 9 years in the making.  I walked 39.3 miles, sprouted (at least) 10 blisters and 6 patches of chaffing, and got to be part of the thousands of men and women who walked to show solidarity and raise support and awareness for the fight to defeat breast cancer.

Everybody Knows Somebody

By current statistics, 1 in 8 women in the US will have breast cancer at some point in her lifetime.  Everybody knows somebody whose had it, fought it, is fighting it, or we have lost to it.  As a girl I grew up watching my Great Aunt Dot beat it twice.  Later in my childhood I discovered that my awesome, quirky, odd-ball Great Grandma Ruth had been wearing foam in her bra all these years because she’d lost both her breasts in the 70′s (she described it as ‘nice in the summer because this is much lighter than the real thing’).

When I announced to my friends that I’d be taking on this crazy/ridiculous feat one of my best friends replied “Oh, I’ll have that some day”.  ”What!?!” I asked in confusion (likely similar to what you’re thinking right now).  ”All the women in my family have that and beat it.  I’ll get it at some point… it’s okay, I’ll beat it and get fake boobs.” … I want to live in the world where she doesn’t have to go through that, don’t you?

Rest & Recharge

The Avon Foundation

The Avon Walk for Breast Cancer will complete its 9th year when it rolls through Charlotte on the 22nd and 23rd of this month; the event’s supporting organization is the Avon Foundation for Women, whose primary mission began with the goal of improving the lives of women.  Today it focuses on ending breast cancer and domestic violence.

Someone told me the other day that she supported me doing the walk, but she doesn’t donate to “this kind of thing” because she felt she couldn’t trust the organizations that put on ‘these kind’ of event.  I’m confident that the Avon Foundation does well with the funds we raise (or I wouldn’t have jumped on the band wagon)… but don’t take my word for it, this video is entirely made up of organizations who’ve received funds from the Avon Foundation in the past:

Sore and Worth It

Doing the walk is hard.  Like, really hard.  There are little pockets on my feet that have gone a bit numb and a pulled hamstring.  My sneakers got so uncomfortable that my walking buddy Emily convinced me to finish the last 3 miles in flip-flops, which caused it’s own set of problems.

A Clear Message

You know what else?  Totally. Worth. It.

For the last 2 miles there was a woman walking with us that felt so empowered that she was telling a total stranger about wearing spacers and how she couldn’t wait to get her implants for Christmas.

There were old women at each of the cheering stations in lawn chairs wearing Survivor hats thanking each walker as they passed by…. and guys & gals on Harleys in full leather who rode along the route stopping at major crosswalks to keep walkers safe… one safety van had a GIANT bra on the top made of insulating foam.

Drops of encouragement from the Cali team

And my favorite: the kids crew.  Made up of kids whose lives have been affected by breast cancer (many who have lost their mothers to it) whose only job is to cheer walkers a loudly and emphatically as possible.  And those cheers make all the difference in the world – when you know in your head you have another 10 miles today and complete strangers are telling you that you can do it and how much they love you, eventually you come to believe them.  You can do it.  And you want to thank them for being so encouraging, for standing up, for fighting through the disease and WINNING.  (Screw tiger blood, I want to have what she’s having).

At the end of the two days my feet and back and hips were on fire.  I crossed the finish line and hugged Emily.  I called my mom and texted my best friends who’d been sending me their digital love all weekend.  And then I lay down on the top of the steps behind the wellness tent and felt the sun on my sore body I thought of all the reasons I did this walk.  For the ghost of my great grandmother, a woman who fought but didn’t talk about the Big C.  My friends that I love and how much I want for them to be in a world without cancer.  My father who survived cancer, and my grandfather who I lost last year.  All that energy soaked in and I was exhausted but exuberant.

I’m doing this again next year.

Tips for Next Time

I haven’t signed up yet; but I’m sure I’m gana.  A few things so I don’t forget (that you might benefit from):

• Pack extra socks. Your feet will sweat and it encourages blistering so pack extras and switch them often.
• Stop fully for lunch and stretch out after.  I didn’t give myself enough time to digest on day 2 and I think I paid for it.
• It’s good to be out front! There are a million reasons to want to be out front.  The food you want is going to be in stock at the rest stops… in the early walk it will keep you from getting bunched and you can walk at the right stride… perhaps most important of all: if you’re out front no one had used the porta-potty when you stop for a break
• CAMP THERE!  I live in the city so I thought ‘what the hell, it’s not so far’ and stayed at home.  Mistake: I lost 3 hours of sleep to travel and missed evening bonding time back at the Wellness Village.
• Bring flip flops!  2 reasons: 1) you’ll want them at the Wellness Village regardless if you’re staying there or not. 2) If you need a break from your sneakers, but just can’t stop, another option is clutch.

Pink Army Barracks!

And remember: Once you choose hope, anything is possible.

Run for the Wild – 5K #2

Back before the Something New project was a glorious failure I ran a 5k.  At the time it felt like a reluctant triumph; the entire run I was forcing every step, and at the end I celebrated that I made it through without puking or passing out.

Last weekend I participated in the first Run for the Wild at Coney Island, a run to benefit endangered turtle species.  I not only took 5 minutes off my time from March, but I did totally puke after the finish.  That’s how I know I was doing it right.  There was a lot more zen in my stride this time and the training paid off.

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